Having a child brings out the Mama and Papa Bear in all parents. It’s not only mother’s protective instincts that become apparent – fathers fall in love with their new-born child too! Even before the birth, fathers are affected by hormonal changes during the pregnancy. Their testosterone levels drops, making them less aggressive and more attentive.  And so, the parenting journey starts for both parents before the birth. We are primed to become protective and hyper-vigilant over our children. Children […]

Concerned about your child who seems fatigued, frazzled and lacking in motivation? This could be linked to their cortisol levels and over exposure to stress when they were younger. Research has discovered a link between child behavioural issues, high cortisol levels and poor performance at school. Cortisol is the steroid hormone produced by the cortex of the adrenal gland that helps in responding to and coping with stress, trauma and environmental extremes. It regulates our blood glucose, the immune system […]

As the name clearly indicates, this support workshop helps you to prioritise your children and to re-focus on them with other like-minded parents who also have been through separation/divorce. Losing one’s focus and confidence as a parent is pretty easy under any circumstances. But even more so when you experience a momentous and explosive separation. Loss of control, indecision and feelings of uncertainty will seem to be the norm and anxiety levels run high.‎ When it’s hard to know what is right anymore you […]

Feeling adrift or drowning since your separation? With all the New Year pressures, is your ‘new life’ proving a tough challenge when your thinking is all a bit foggy and hesitant about the uncertain future? ‘Breaking up is hard to do’, as the song goes Perhaps you were not the one who decided on the separation so it may constantly feel like you’re on the back-foot, vulnerable, exposed, not in control and wearing ‘L-plates’ to life? Perhaps you are feeling unsure about whether you should have separated and are […]

As a parent, playing the ‘blame game’ may be fairly satisfying in the short term but will actually begin to surreptitiously undermine oneself eventually, whilst negating and eroding the other parent in the process. Sadly this can be typical behaviour I observe when parents separate. The need to blame is very much a part of the initial stages of grief and fury. It can feel really good to blame the other parent and thereby absolve ourselves of guilt – another […]

Modern living and separation feels incredibly stressful and one issue I have noticed is how we can all give ourselves a hard time and worry too much. We are the descendants of finely tuned anxious people and needed to be so in order to survive. In order for the modern form of humans to have survived 200,000 years we have needed to be ready for action depending on what we were faced with. Our amygdala (the alarm system that warns […]

Why is it once you separate from your ex-spouse or partner that you may seem to disagree on everything you believe is good for your child? When you’re no longer in love, a part of that compromising ‘glue’ that helped you reach mutual decisions has apparently dissolved.  In fact, that one part of the brain that often makes us see the other person through ‘rose-tinted glasses’ no longer operates the same way. And  so you may be more inclined to want to ‘stand your ground’ […]

The right hemisphere of the brain has a considerable growth spurt in the first year. It is in charge of recognising faces, experiencing and coding emotions, colour recognition, images and more intuitive, thoughtful and subjective thinking. As mentioned previously the amygdala is linked to the visual-affective interactions in basic proto-conversations (basic ace and eye contact) and is reliant on pleasant eye to eye contact. If the amygdala is, so to speak, stroked with frequent and gentle interactions the right hemisphere […]

One of the reasons why human population has increased so prolifically is by the learning of ‘cooperation’.  In fact the reason why humans have been so successful is because neonates are ready to participate in any culture. By imitating parental heritage, supports greater integration, stronger identity and the creation of secure reference points, As if parents are installing a software in the brain of the baby, they define their child. Babies are primed for imitation as soon as they are born. Given […]

The most important and yet simple interaction between a parent and child is in the visual communication. Babies respond to the loving gaze of their mother and father. A parent falling in love with their baby feeds into the baby falling in love with the world and this is the basic structural paving stone for curiosity particularly later at 10 to 18 months. So seeking or appreciating eyes and facial features are encoded within babies preferences, they prefer to see […]

Babies are not ‘blank sheets’ but have a sheet with ‘‎certain tentative outlines’. They are endowed with three brains with adaptive outlines and potential for further wiring. These brains are the reptilian, mammalian and rational. All these are part of a cerebral symphony that needs a conductor, a carer to help them work together. 90% of brain growth happens in the first year, emotions and social intelligence are stimulated or possibly trimmed prematurely with synaptic pruning by the second year and is […]

In Utero Relationships are essential to us and are the cornerstones of our civilisation. As humans we are highly social beings and as a result we have thrived as a species. Our incredible brains are designed to be social, helping us to relate and seek relationships. In just the same way, the brains of all babies are primed to relate. Their brains are social instruments, ready to tune into strong relational chords from the moment they are born. The sensitive […]