I often hear about separated parents arranging to meet at petrol stations or train stations for handovers, which sounds very bleak and perfunctory for children. From a child’s perspective, experiencing their parents’ separation is such an emotional journey in itself, so we don’t want to create further trauma during handovers. And things are already strained at best if neither can meet at each other’s homes. There are many other more child-friendly handover settings that can make it easier for them […]

Previously deemed a moral failure, scientists and researchers are now delving deeper into understanding and explaining the trap of addiction and its withdrawal effects. An alarmingly high percentage of people are at the mercy of addictions such as drugs, alcohol, tobacco, gambling, sex, etc.,.  And there are an increasing number seemingly more innocuous, addictions also under debate – from obsessive gaming, mobile phone usage, social media interaction, to the simple buzz of one’s daily caffeine intake. So what exactly is […]

Tags: Addiction

Almost 1 in 4 are being diagnosed with a mental health illness in the UK today,  of which the most common diagnosis is Depression. That’s nearly a quarter of the population who have or will experience depression at some point in their lives. Depression is the fastest growing ‘silent’ illness with many people suffering in silence and abject misery, feeling too ‘ashamed’ or embarrassed to seek any kind of help. Some become so fearful of being tagged with a mental […]

Tags: Depression

Having a child brings out the Mama and Papa Bear in all parents. It’s not only mother’s protective instincts that become apparent – fathers fall in love with their new-born child too! Even before the birth, fathers are affected by hormonal changes during the pregnancy. Their testosterone levels drops, making them less aggressive and more attentive.  And so, the parenting journey starts for both parents before the birth. We are primed to become protective and hyper-vigilant over our children. Children […]

Tags: Protectiveness

Concerned about your child who seems fatigued, frazzled and lacking in motivation? This could be linked to their cortisol levels and over exposure to stress when they were younger. Research has discovered a link between child behavioural issues, high cortisol levels and poor performance at school. Cortisol is the steroid hormone produced by the cortex of the adrenal gland that helps in responding to and coping with stress, trauma and environmental extremes. It regulates our blood glucose, the immune system […]

Tags: Anxiety, children, Depression, teenagers

As the name clearly indicates, this support workshop helps you to prioritise your children and to re-focus on them with other like-minded parents who also have been through separation/divorce. Losing one’s focus and confidence as a parent is pretty easy under any circumstances. But even more so when you experience a momentous and explosive separation. Loss of control, indecision and feelings of uncertainty will seem to be the norm and anxiety levels run high.‎ When it’s hard to know what is right anymore you […]

Feeling adrift or drowning since your separation? With all the New Year pressures, is your ‘new life’ proving a tough challenge when your thinking is all a bit foggy and hesitant about the uncertain future? ‘Breaking up is hard to do’, as the song goes Perhaps you were not the one who decided on the separation so it may constantly feel like you’re on the back-foot, vulnerable, exposed, not in control and wearing ‘L-plates’ to life? Perhaps you are feeling unsure about whether you should have separated and are […]

As a parent, playing the ‘blame game’ may be fairly satisfying in the short term but will actually begin to surreptitiously undermine oneself eventually, whilst negating and eroding the other parent in the process. Sadly this can be typical behaviour I observe when parents separate. The need to blame is very much a part of the initial stages of grief and fury. It can feel really good to blame the other parent and thereby absolve ourselves of guilt – another […]

Modern living and separation feels incredibly stressful and one issue I have noticed is how we can all give ourselves a hard time and worry too much. We are the descendants of finely tuned anxious people and needed to be so in order to survive. In order for the modern form of humans to have survived 200,000 years we have needed to be ready for action depending on what we were faced with. Our amygdala (the alarm system that warns […]

Why is it once you separate from your ex-spouse or partner that you may seem to disagree on everything you believe is good for your child? When you’re no longer in love, a part of that compromising ‘glue’ that helped you reach mutual decisions has apparently dissolved.  In fact, that one part of the brain that often makes us see the other person through ‘rose-tinted glasses’ no longer operates the same way. And  so you may be more inclined to want to ‘stand your ground’ […]

The right hemisphere of the brain has a considerable growth spurt in the first year. It is in charge of recognising faces, experiencing and coding emotions, colour recognition, images and more intuitive, thoughtful and subjective thinking. As mentioned previously the amygdala is linked to the visual-affective interactions in basic proto-conversations (basic ace and eye contact) and is reliant on pleasant eye to eye contact. If the amygdala is, so to speak, stroked with frequent and gentle interactions the right hemisphere […]

Tags: Babies

One of the reasons why human population has increased so prolifically is by the learning of ‘cooperation’.  In fact the reason why humans have been so successful is because neonates are ready to participate in any culture. By imitating parental heritage, supports greater integration, stronger identity and the creation of secure reference points, As if parents are installing a software in the brain of the baby, they define their child. Babies are primed for imitation as soon as they are born. Given […]