Imagine your child as a little seedling with its fragile roots encased in some soil.   As parents, you are the sturdy and protective plant pots they seek refuge in. But as separated parents, you are now two very different shaped pots.    Your child wants to find comfort and nestle into both parents’ pots so they can spread their ‘roots’. To do this they now have to change their shape accordingly, acclimatising to your way of parenting. Then they have to ‘uproot’ and get ready to change shape again to suit the other parents pot while […]

Tags: children, Parent, Seedlings, separated parents

If a child is in a sensitive state or is not thriving and proves to be the vulnerable child, this may exacerbate tensions between separated parents. A vulnerable child can make any parent worried and quickly become the focal point of your ‘failed’ relationship as feelings of parental inadequacy are arising in both of you. Parental differences become more apparent as your fledgling, fragile co-parenting relationship comes under closer scrutiny. When neither of you has a clear view of the […]

Tags: Parent, separated parents, Vulnerable

Much has been written about teenagers and the brain and indeed, the brain does go through a revolutionary overhaul during the adolescent years. One could describe this overhaul as the second brain ‘reboot’ beyond the toddler phases and some parents will say they observe the similarities. The Limbic system is hugely influential and key during the teenage years, being very active and often over-reactive. This emotional engine, or motor system, located in the core brain is responsible for survival, memory […]

Tags: Brain, Limbic system, Teenage, teenagers

The standard of exams seems to have gone sky high! I remember when an A was a great grade and was a real achievement. But now young people have to get an A* and lots of them. Getting a mere A is just not good enough! Young people and children are under ridiculous amounts of pressure these days. The number of cases where young people are suffering from acute anxiety has risen dramatically in my practice. More and more frequently, […]

Tags: Anxiety, Babies, Brain, Depression, exams, Girls, Stress

Having had a bad experience with an ex-partner can leave such a suspicious imprint that it’s hard not to hold a dim view of them once we separate. It’s easy to believe that if they were unsuitable as a partner, equally, they must be a lousy parent. Questioning and reflecting back on the relationship, you may have felt frustrated by their ‘lack of presence’ when you were together but noticed that since your separation your ex is claiming to be […]

Tags: Ex-Partner, Parent, separated parents

Almost 1 in 4 are being diagnosed with a mental health illness in the UK today,  of which the most common diagnosis is Depression. That’s nearly a quarter of the population who have or will experience depression at some point in their lives. Depression is the fastest growing ‘silent’ illness with many people suffering in silence and abject misery, feeling too ‘ashamed’ or embarrassed to seek any kind of help. Some become so fearful of being tagged with a mental […]

Tags: Anxiety, children, Depression, Parent, separated parents

As the name clearly indicates, this support workshop helps you to prioritise your children and to re-focus on them with other like-minded parents who also have been through separation/divorce. Losing one’s focus and confidence as a parent is pretty easy under any circumstances. But even more so when you experience a momentous and explosive separation. Loss of control, indecision and feelings of uncertainty will seem to be the norm and anxiety levels run high.‎ When it’s hard to know what is right anymore you […]

Tags: Anxiety, children, Parent, teenagers

As a parent, playing the ‘blame game’ may be fairly satisfying in the short term but will actually begin to surreptitiously undermine oneself eventually, whilst negating and eroding the other parent in the process. Sadly this can be typical behaviour I observe when parents separate. The need to blame is very much a part of the initial stages of grief and fury. It can feel really good to blame the other parent and thereby absolve ourselves of guilt – another […]

Tags: children, Parent

Modern living and separation feels incredibly stressful and one issue I have noticed is how we can all give ourselves a hard time and worry too much. We are the descendants of finely tuned anxious people and needed to be so in order to survive. In order for the modern form of humans to have survived 200,000 years we have needed to be ready for action depending on what we were faced with. Our amygdala (the alarm system that warns […]

Tags: Anxiety, Brain, separated parents, Stress, Vulnerable

Have you been in a situation where you felt you weren’t in control or wish you had kept calm? Or wished you had been able to defuse an argument? Or aghast at getting into a RED fog and can’t remember what came over you? Well, this can be explained by the power of our brains. Once familiar with the wonders of our brain then we can master more easily those impulsive urges and flashes of anger. The beauty of our […]

Tags: Brain, Stress

Minni Miyu was not your usual kind of girl. For a start her name was different! But also, SHE was different… She desperately wanted to be like the other children in her class or even those on the street. She would look at the ‘heart’ children, who were so well-loved, always smiley-faced and seemed so happy. The ‘star’ kids would stand out and be ‘brilliant’ and would ‘shine’ at whatever they did! The ’round’ kids would be bouncy ‘all rounders’ […]

Tags: children