Have you been in a situation where you felt you weren’t in control or wish you had kept calm? Or wished you had been able to defuse an argument? Or aghast at getting into a RED fog and can’t remember what came over you? Well, this can be explained by the power of our brains. Once familiar with the wonders of our brain then we can master more easily those impulsive urges and flashes of anger. The beauty of our […]

Is it realistic for parents to expect our judicial system to offer all encompasing help and support for families experiencing the distress of divorce/separation? Particularly those parents who demonstrate a history of bitter disputes and patterns of obstructive behaviour? All too often separating parents fail to recognise and appreciate that in bringing family matters before the Courts, they are, in essence, relinquishing ‘control’ of their family’s future and reducing their capacity to resolve their own issues. By handing over their parental […]

Has your child been suffering bad dreams lately? Do they seem unusually fearful or seem to have new kinds of phobias? It could be that their buried feelings are surfacing in what seems to be a disturbed or distorted way. If your child is too worried to voice their anger or emote their sadness, then these feelings manifest themselves in an unusual fashion. The same applies to any unresolved worries they may have. They can only be buried or hidden […]

Is your child ‘exploding’ into tantrums? Acting very agitated? Behaving like a little bear with a sore head? Well, maybe they are actually in high alert mode and very angry. Perhaps it’s as if there are bombs blowing up in their head and dinosaurs rampaging though their mind. If their ‘fight or flight’ alarm system (the reptilian brain) is triggered enough times it can tripwire very easily into automatic mode. It can be invigorating to some extent and helps to […]

Do they seem more upset and tearful, with a wobbly bottom lip and a sad little face? Well, it’s hard for them to be brave all the time and sometimes we might try to cheer them up with a lot of, ‘ooh, don’t cry’, or, ‘please, don’t be sad’. We want  children and adults alike, to laugh it off or, ‘snap out of it’ and pull themselves out of the doldrums quickly. So, where do all these sad feelings go […]

I frequently come across youngsters who are ‘people pleasing’ – particularly with parents who are separated. They are trying so hard to please both their conflicting parents, they’re being the perfect chameleon. But at what cost? Some are striving to please both parents who may be at totally opposite ends of the opinion spectrum. This impossible task makes the young person feel or think they are failing by letting someone down pretty much all of the time. By pleasing one […]

When we lose something precious to us we start to experience a gamut of emotions. It’s like being on an awful uncontrollable roller-coaster. There are sudden downs, when we might cry, seemingly for no reason. Or we want to rip some heads off – we are SO FURIOUS! Sometimes, hours or days later we are suddenly ‘up’ and happy again…then CRASH! – we go ‘down’ again and start feeling all the emotions over again. This roller-coaster can be better understood […]

Minni Miyu was not your usual kind of girl. For a start her name was different! But also, SHE was different… She desperately wanted to be like the other children in her class or even those on the street. She would look at the ‘heart’ children, who were so well-loved, always smiley-faced and seemed so happy. The ‘star’ kids would stand out and be ‘brilliant’ and would ‘shine’ at whatever they did! The ’round’ kids would be bouncy ‘all rounders’ […]

Teenagers can see the world in black and white. This is because their brain is in flux and ‘a work in progress’! The Pre-frontal cortex is at it’s biggest ‘growth spurt’. Teenagers have a lot going on in their brains. Neural pathways are regenerating and undergoing their most significant growth and re-strengthening phase. It is important for teenagers to maximize this time so as to be the best and most competent adults they can be. With all this development taking […]

You may have noticed your teenage child pulling back or putting up resistance in regard to the arrangements for visits with you. The precious time you battled over in Court or agreements decided by a judge no longer work or seem to apply to your child. Your teenager always seems too busy with their friends, or in pursuit of their hobbies or other extra activities on the time that was agreed for you to see them. To reassure you, teenagers […]

Teenagers can feel very up and down and emotionally out of balance, as they are traversing a great deal of mileage in just one day! They have a lot going on physically, as this their biggest growth spurt ever, and may come across as lazy when actually they simply need more rest. They are more likely to be tired after school and not wanting to go out or do anything with you. Psychologically, emotionally and hormonally they will feel all […]

We all have our personal baggage to carry around – a sort of rucksack full of issues like our anxieties, worries, thoughts, personal remarks or criticisms – things that often weigh us down on a daily basis. Some people who are carrying a rather large rucksack probably have an overload of rocks in their “rock sack”. Some of these rocks are not even theirs! I notice sometimes that bullies also have a rather large “rock sack” too and an uncanny […]