EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a structured psychotherapy method designed to help people heal from distressing memories and trauma-related symptoms. Developed by Dr. Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s, EMDR is widely recognized as an effective treatment for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and other mental health conditions. How EMDR Works The core idea of EMDR is that unprocessed traumatic memories are stored in a way that causes emotional distress when triggered. EMDR helps “reprocess” these memories so they […]

Today we are in the middle of an almighty mess. Where one party does not want to separate and another is ready to leave. Does this sound familiar? Oh yes – Brexit is the very disorder of divorce! As with most divorces, the majority are not as well equipped for the long and winding road both parties face during a divorce/separation. Divorce is full of surprises! As with the UK and Europe, there have been ups and downs, with the […]

Imagine your child as a little seedling with its fragile roots encased in some soil.   As parents, you are the sturdy and protective plant pots they seek refuge in. But as separated parents, you are now two very different shaped pots.    Your child wants to find comfort and nestle into both parents’ pots so they can spread their ‘roots’. To do this they now have to change their shape accordingly, acclimatising to your way of parenting. Then they have to ‘uproot’ and get ready to change shape again to suit the other parents pot while […]

I often hear about separated parents arranging to meet at petrol stations or train stations for handovers, which sounds very bleak and perfunctory for children. From a child’s perspective, experiencing their parents’ separation is such an emotional journey in itself, so we don’t want to create further trauma during handovers. And things are already strained at best if neither can meet at each other’s homes. There are many other more child-friendly handover settings that can make it easier for them […]

Almost 1 in 4 are being diagnosed with a mental health illness in the UK today,  of which the most common diagnosis is Depression. That’s nearly a quarter of the population who have or will experience depression at some point in their lives. Depression is the fastest growing ‘silent’ illness with many people suffering in silence and abject misery, feeling too ‘ashamed’ or embarrassed to seek any kind of help. Some become so fearful of being tagged with a mental […]

Concerned about your child who seems fatigued, frazzled and lacking in motivation? This could be linked to their cortisol levels and over exposure to stress when they were younger. Research has discovered a link between child behavioural issues, high cortisol levels and poor performance at school. Cortisol is the steroid hormone produced by the cortex of the adrenal gland that helps in responding to and coping with stress, trauma and environmental extremes. It regulates our blood glucose, the immune system […]

As the name clearly indicates, this support workshop helps you to prioritise your children and to re-focus on them with other like-minded parents who also have been through separation/divorce. Losing one’s focus and confidence as a parent is pretty easy under any circumstances. But even more so when you experience a momentous and explosive separation. Loss of control, indecision and feelings of uncertainty will seem to be the norm and anxiety levels run high.‎ When it’s hard to know what is right anymore you […]

As a parent, playing the ‘blame game’ may be fairly satisfying in the short term but will actually begin to surreptitiously undermine oneself eventually, whilst negating and eroding the other parent in the process. Sadly this can be typical behaviour I observe when parents separate. The need to blame is very much a part of the initial stages of grief and fury. It can feel really good to blame the other parent and thereby absolve ourselves of guilt – another […]

Why is it once you separate from your ex-spouse or partner that you may seem to disagree on everything you believe is good for your child? When you’re no longer in love, a part of that compromising ‘glue’ that helped you reach mutual decisions has apparently dissolved.  In fact, that one part of the brain that often makes us see the other person through ‘rose-tinted glasses’ no longer operates the same way. And  so you may be more inclined to want to ‘stand your ground’ […]

Is it realistic for parents to expect our judicial system to offer all encompasing help and support for families experiencing the distress of divorce/separation? Particularly those parents who demonstrate a history of bitter disputes and patterns of obstructive behaviour? All too often separating parents fail to recognise and appreciate that in bringing family matters before the Courts, they are, in essence, relinquishing ‘control’ of their family’s future and reducing their capacity to resolve their own issues. By handing over their parental […]

Has your child been suffering bad dreams lately? Do they seem unusually fearful or seem to have new kinds of phobias? It could be that their buried feelings are surfacing in what seems to be a disturbed or distorted way. If your child is too worried to voice their anger or emote their sadness, then these feelings manifest themselves in an unusual fashion. The same applies to any unresolved worries they may have. They can only be buried or hidden […]

Is your child ‘exploding’ into tantrums? Acting very agitated? Behaving like a little bear with a sore head? Well, maybe they are actually in high alert mode and very angry. Perhaps it’s as if there are bombs blowing up in their head and dinosaurs rampaging though their mind. If their ‘fight or flight’ alarm system (the reptilian brain) is triggered enough times it can tripwire very easily into automatic mode. It can be invigorating to some extent and helps to […]