Having a child brings out the Mama and Papa Bear in all parents. It’s not only mother’s protective instincts that become apparent – fathers fall in love with their new-born child too! Even before the birth, fathers are affected by hormonal changes during the pregnancy. Their testosterone levels drops, making them less aggressive and more attentive. And so, the parenting journey starts for both parents before the birth. We are primed to become protective and hyper-vigilant over our children. Children […]
Concerned about your child who seems fatigued, frazzled and lacking in motivation? This could be linked to their cortisol levels and over exposure to stress when they were younger. Research has discovered a link between child behavioural issues, high cortisol levels and poor performance at school. Cortisol is the steroid hormone produced by the cortex of the adrenal gland that helps in responding to and coping with stress, trauma and environmental extremes. It regulates our blood glucose, the immune system […]
As the name clearly indicates, this support workshop helps you to prioritise your children and to re-focus on them with other like-minded parents who also have been through separation/divorce. Losing one’s focus and confidence as a parent is pretty easy under any circumstances. But even more so when you experience a momentous and explosive separation. Loss of control, indecision and feelings of uncertainty will seem to be the norm and anxiety levels run high. When it’s hard to know what is right anymore you […]
Feeling adrift or drowning since your separation? With all the New Year pressures, is your ‘new life’ proving a tough challenge when your thinking is all a bit foggy and hesitant about the uncertain future? ‘Breaking up is hard to do’, as the song goes Perhaps you were not the one who decided on the separation so it may constantly feel like you’re on the back-foot, vulnerable, exposed, not in control and wearing ‘L-plates’ to life? Perhaps you are feeling unsure about whether you should have separated and are […]
As a parent, playing the ‘blame game’ may be fairly satisfying in the short term but will actually begin to surreptitiously undermine oneself eventually, whilst negating and eroding the other parent in the process. Sadly this can be typical behaviour I observe when parents separate. The need to blame is very much a part of the initial stages of grief and fury. It can feel really good to blame the other parent and thereby absolve ourselves of guilt – another […]
Modern living and separation feels incredibly stressful and one issue I have noticed is how we can all give ourselves a hard time and worry too much. We are the descendants of finely tuned anxious people and needed to be so in order to survive. In order for the modern form of humans to have survived 200,000 years we have needed to be ready for action depending on what we were faced with. Our amygdala (the alarm system that warns […]
Why is it once you separate from your ex-spouse or partner that you may seem to disagree on everything you believe is good for your child? When you’re no longer in love, a part of that compromising ‘glue’ that helped you reach mutual decisions has apparently dissolved. In fact, that one part of the brain that often makes us see the other person through ‘rose-tinted glasses’ no longer operates the same way. And so you may be more inclined to want to ‘stand your ground’ […]
Babies are not ‘blank sheets’ but have a sheet with ‘certain tentative outlines’. They are endowed with three brains with adaptive outlines and potential for further wiring. These brains are the reptilian, mammalian and rational. All these are part of a cerebral symphony that needs a conductor, a carer to help them work together. 90% of brain growth happens in the first year, emotions and social intelligence are stimulated or possibly trimmed prematurely with synaptic pruning by the second year and is […]
Have you been in a situation where you felt you weren’t in control or wish you had kept calm? Or wished you had been able to defuse an argument? Or aghast at getting into a RED fog and can’t remember what came over you? Well, this can be explained by the power of our brains. Once familiar with the wonders of our brain then we can master more easily those impulsive urges and flashes of anger. The beauty of our […]
Is it realistic for parents to expect our judicial system to offer all encompasing help and support for families experiencing the distress of divorce/separation? Particularly those parents who demonstrate a history of bitter disputes and patterns of obstructive behaviour? All too often separating parents fail to recognise and appreciate that in bringing family matters before the Courts, they are, in essence, relinquishing ‘control’ of their family’s future and reducing their capacity to resolve their own issues. By handing over their parental […]
Has your child been suffering bad dreams lately? Do they seem unusually fearful or seem to have new kinds of phobias? It could be that their buried feelings are surfacing in what seems to be a disturbed or distorted way. If your child is too worried to voice their anger or emote their sadness, then these feelings manifest themselves in an unusual fashion. The same applies to any unresolved worries they may have. They can only be buried or hidden […]
Is your child ‘exploding’ into tantrums? Acting very agitated? Behaving like a little bear with a sore head? Well, maybe they are actually in high alert mode and very angry. Perhaps it’s as if there are bombs blowing up in their head and dinosaurs rampaging though their mind. If their ‘fight or flight’ alarm system (the reptilian brain) is triggered enough times it can tripwire very easily into automatic mode. It can be invigorating to some extent and helps to […]
