Do they seem more upset and tearful, with a wobbly bottom lip and a sad little face? Well, it’s hard for them to be brave all the time and sometimes we might try to cheer them up with a lot of, ‘ooh, don’t cry’, or, ‘please, don’t be sad’. We want  children and adults alike, to laugh it off or, ‘snap out of it’ and pull themselves out of the doldrums quickly. So, where do all these sad feelings go […]

I frequently come across youngsters who are ‘people pleasing’ – particularly with parents who are separated. They are trying so hard to please both their conflicting parents, they’re being the perfect chameleon. But at what cost? Some are striving to please both parents who may be at totally opposite ends of the opinion spectrum. This impossible task makes the young person feel or think they are failing by letting someone down pretty much all of the time. By pleasing one […]

When we lose something precious to us we start to experience a gamut of emotions. It’s like being on an awful uncontrollable roller-coaster. There are sudden downs, when we might cry, seemingly for no reason. Or we want to rip some heads off – we are SO FURIOUS! Sometimes, hours or days later we are suddenly ‘up’ and happy again…then CRASH! – we go ‘down’ again and start feeling all the emotions over again. This roller-coaster can be better understood […]

Minni Miyu was not your usual kind of girl. For a start her name was different! But also, SHE was different… She desperately wanted to be like the other children in her class or even those on the street. She would look at the ‘heart’ children, who were so well-loved, always smiley-faced and seemed so happy. The ‘star’ kids would stand out and be ‘brilliant’ and would ‘shine’ at whatever they did! The ’round’ kids would be bouncy ‘all rounders’ […]

Teenagers can see the world in black and white. This is because their brain is in flux and ‘a work in progress’! The Pre-frontal cortex is at it’s biggest ‘growth spurt’. Teenagers have a lot going on in their brains. Neural pathways are regenerating and undergoing their most significant growth and re-strengthening phase. It is important for teenagers to maximize this time so as to be the best and most competent adults they can be. With all this development taking […]

We all have our personal baggage to carry around – a sort of rucksack full of issues like our anxieties, worries, thoughts, personal remarks or criticisms – things that often weigh us down on a daily basis. Some people who are carrying a rather large rucksack probably have an overload of rocks in their “rock sack”. Some of these rocks are not even theirs! I notice sometimes that bullies also have a rather large “rock sack” too and an uncanny […]

Perhaps you’re a bit confused by all the different kinds of love – especially since your Mum and Dad have separated. They used to be “in love” but not any more. This probably makes you think that their love for others can change too? You might also be thinking that love is defined in quantities and then runs out – and maybe that’s what happened with your parents? Although love between adults can change, ‘parent love’ for children never runs […]