Do they seem more upset and tearful, with a wobbly bottom lip and a sad little face? Well, it’s hard for them to be brave all the time and sometimes we might try to cheer them up with a lot of, ‘ooh, don’t cry’, or, ‘please, don’t be sad’. We want  children and adults alike, to laugh it off or, ‘snap out of it’ and pull themselves out of the doldrums quickly. So, where do all these sad feelings go […]

I frequently come across youngsters who are ‘people pleasing’ – particularly with parents who are separated. They are trying so hard to please both their conflicting parents, they’re being the perfect chameleon. But at what cost? Some are striving to please both parents who may be at totally opposite ends of the opinion spectrum. This impossible task makes the young person feel or think they are failing by letting someone down pretty much all of the time. By pleasing one […]

When we lose something precious to us we start to experience a gamut of emotions. It’s like being on an awful uncontrollable roller-coaster. There are sudden downs, when we might cry, seemingly for no reason. Or we want to rip some heads off – we are SO FURIOUS! Sometimes, hours or days later we are suddenly ‘up’ and happy again…then CRASH! – we go ‘down’ again and start feeling all the emotions over again. This roller-coaster can be better understood […]

Minni Miyu was not your usual kind of girl. For a start her name was different! But also, SHE was different… She desperately wanted to be like the other children in her class or even those on the street. She would look at the ‘heart’ children, who were so well-loved, always smiley-faced and seemed so happy. The ‘star’ kids would stand out and be ‘brilliant’ and would ‘shine’ at whatever they did! The ’round’ kids would be bouncy ‘all rounders’ […]

Teenagers can see the world in black and white. This is because their brain is in flux and ‘a work in progress’! The Pre-frontal cortex is at it’s biggest ‘growth spurt’. Teenagers have a lot going on in their brains. Neural pathways are regenerating and undergoing their most significant growth and re-strengthening phase. It is important for teenagers to maximize this time so as to be the best and most competent adults they can be. With all this development taking […]

You may have noticed your teenage child pulling back or putting up resistance in regard to the arrangements for visits with you. The precious time you battled over in Court or agreements decided by a judge no longer work or seem to apply to your child. Your teenager always seems too busy with their friends, or in pursuit of their hobbies or other extra activities on the time that was agreed for you to see them. To reassure you, teenagers […]

Teenagers can feel very up and down and emotionally out of balance, as they are traversing a great deal of mileage in just one day! They have a lot going on physically, as this their biggest growth spurt ever, and may come across as lazy when actually they simply need more rest. They are more likely to be tired after school and not wanting to go out or do anything with you. Psychologically, emotionally and hormonally they will feel all […]

We all have our personal baggage to carry around – a sort of rucksack full of issues like our anxieties, worries, thoughts, personal remarks or criticisms – things that often weigh us down on a daily basis. Some people who are carrying a rather large rucksack probably have an overload of rocks in their “rock sack”. Some of these rocks are not even theirs! I notice sometimes that bullies also have a rather large “rock sack” too and an uncanny […]

So, you have a special person in your life and you’re very keen to introduce them to your children. Remember that your children are going to need some time to adjust and get to know this new person so a ‘soft’ introduction would be the best approach. You could say something like, ‘”I have met a special friend who I’m getting to know and maybe one day I would like you to meet them”. This may seem like a slow […]

Perhaps you’re a bit confused by all the different kinds of love – especially since your Mum and Dad have separated. They used to be “in love” but not any more. This probably makes you think that their love for others can change too? You might also be thinking that love is defined in quantities and then runs out – and maybe that’s what happened with your parents? Although love between adults can change, ‘parent love’ for children never runs […]

Why not Adult Counselling? We arrange all sorts of check ups as part of our everyday life i.e. boilers, cars, health etc.,. We understand the importance of physical exercise to keep our bodies healthy and on track but somehow when it comes to our emotions and looking after our mental health there is resistance. So why not learn to exercise our emotional muscle and take stock of our emotional welfare by going to the emotional gym? It’s only talking but […]

You might think it’s just ‘a message’ but the saying ‘don’t shoot the messenger’ comes to mind. If the message is not likely to be well received by the other parent, this will not go unnoticed by the one little person who is made up of you both. Your child, the “little bee” with their finely tuned antennae will pick up the vibe and inadvertently absorb it too. This will impact on your child as the message represents an ‘unintentional’ […]